Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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