wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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