Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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