I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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