"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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