Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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