I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
