well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
