i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
