i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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