dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
