I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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