dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
