I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
