Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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