I swear she didn't look like that last week.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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