I haven't been this sober since birth.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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