don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize