The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
