We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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