evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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