just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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