I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
