new low.... made out with someone while peeing
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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