i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
