YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
