i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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