My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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