Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
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