i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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