are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Randomize
