You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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