it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
