What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Send help, water and tortillas.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
