i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
