We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize