Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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