1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
