I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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