So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
