yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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