I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
