If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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