Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
