Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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