last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
