It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
