i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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