Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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