Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Randomize
