i may or may not be watching the land before time
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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