oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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