I wanna bring you to show and tell
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize
