help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
