If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
