so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
