There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
