It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
