I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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